


The Truth

by JustYourAverageFanboy



Series: Stopping Time [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, I'm Sorry, M/M, No Fluff, Suicide (mentioned), this is all angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 16:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11717709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustYourAverageFanboy/pseuds/JustYourAverageFanboy
Summary: Connor has been ignoring Evan for the past three days and Evan decided to confront him about it(This is a deleted scene from my fic Stopping Time. I recommend reading that first before reading this)





	The Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place when Connor was ignoring Evan. My original plan was to have Connor ignore Evan because he figured out the soulmate thing, not because he was developing feelings for him like in the main fic
> 
> Warning: Connor might be extremely out of character

Evan walked up to the front door of the Murphy house. He rang the doorbell, fiddling with his shirt. He pulled at the loose strings, creating a hole.

"Evan?"

Evan looked up, surprised to see Zoe standing there. "H-hi," he said. "I-is C-Connor h– is he ok? H-he hasn't r-returned any o-of my texts, b-but h-he's read them. O-or maybe I'm just o-over reacting a-and he's completely f-fine but decided th-that he doesn't want– that I'm a-a terrible f-friend and th-that's c-completely ok and maybe I-I should leave."

Evan turned to leave when Zoe said, "He's upstairs in his room. He's having another fit so be careful."

"O-oh." Zoe stepped aside, letting Evan in. "Th-thanks."

He took off his shoes and walked upstairs. Loud music–he guessed Hollywood Undead from the lyrics–could be heard from down the hall. It got louder as Evan got closer.

He knocked on the door. "Connor?" he called. He knocked harder.

"Fuck off, Zoe!" Connor shouted.

"I-it's Evan," Evan said. "C-can I come in?"

"No!" Evan flinched. "Go away!"

Zoe appeared beside the blond boy. "Connor, you've been treating your friend like shit for the past week," she yelled. "I think he deserves an explanation and apology!"

"Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone!" The music had stopped now, so Connor's voice was louder than before.

Zoe sighed. She reached behind her head, pulling out a bobby pin. She picked the lock on the door.

"What the fuck, Zoe?!" Connor exclaimed when the door was shoved open. "You can't just enter my room without permission."

"You're going to speak with Evan and tell him why you've been acting like shit," she said and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Evan only took two steps foreword. He was scared–no, terrified–to move any closer. He's seen Connor mad before, but he's never been in the middle of it. He's only seen glances of his anger during school and during dinner that one day.

Connor sat on his bed, legs crossed. He wasn't wearing his usual hoodie, which was surprising. He was wearing a black short sleeved shirt. His arms were covered with wrist bands, up to his elbow. His biceps were littered with scars.

Evan directed his gaze to his feet. "S-so–"

"I figured it out," Connor interrupted. "I figured out what happened."

"W-what?" Evan asked.

"I finally know why my timer is broken." Connor laughed. It wasn't his usual laugh, a small chuckle, and it wasn't the laugh that only showed when he was around Evan. It was an angry laugh, one that didn't settle right with Evan. "And it's your fault."

Evan staggered back. "W-what? That's, that's not possible. Wh-what makes you think that?"

"Oh come on!" Connor stood up and started pacing back and forth. "You said it yourself, our timers both broke on the same day."

Connor got closer to Evan, but not close enough to do anything.

"I-I never said-"

"That also happens to be the day you just had to fall out of a fucking tree!" Connor was shouting again. "Do you know how depressed I was? The only thing that kept me going was knowing that there was someone out there who could love me, who could look at me and not see an abusive monster!"

Tears welled up in Evan's eyes, making his vision blurry. "I-I didn't know," he sobbed. "I-I d-didn't m-mean to."

"Well you did," Connor snapped. He was standing right in front of Evan, who was now backed against the door. "It's your fucking fault! It's your fucking fault I tried to kill myself after a month of having all my hope destroyed!"

Connor took a few steps back, whirling around to face the wall. His fist slammed into it.

Evan couldn't help but scream, hands covering his face. Tears streamed down his face, snot running out of his nose. He sobbed, tears getting mixed with sweat from his palms.

"Connor!" someone screamed from the other side of the door. "Open the damn door!"

The door opened, causing Evan to fall. Zoe stood above him. Evan didn't look at her or Connor. His vision was fuzzy and it wasn't from the tears.

He barely knew what was going on or where he was. He barely registered the fact that Cynthia was calling after him or that Connor stood at the top of the stairs, quilt covering his face.

He was outside. He only knew that because of the decrease in temperature. He barely recognized the pain on his face due to tripping and falling on the driveway.

He just ran and ran, not caring where he ended up.

A man had stopped him. His voice sounded familiar but Evan couldn't place who it was.

"–be ok," the man said. "Evan, come on man."

He let the man lead him somewhere.

His mind could only focus on one thing.

_Your fault, your fault, your fault_

 

Evan groaned. His face ached and his legs were sore. His eyes cracked open a bit, trying to get used to the light.

He buried his face into the blanket he was laying on.

Footsteps approached him. Evan's head snapped up, looking around. His eyes landed on Jared, who was now perched on the arm of the couch with an icepack in hand.

"You look like shit," he said, tossing the icepack to Evan. "What happened?"

Evan held the icepack on his nose. "I-I w-went to t-talk to C-Connor," he replied. His voice was hoarse. "A-and h-he y-yelled at m-me and, and th-then I ran."

"He didn't hit you, did he?" Jared asked.

Evan shook his head. "H-he punched h-his wall b-but I w-was fine." He looked at his friend. "How long w-was I out?"

"About two hours." Jared shrugged. "I found you running down the sidewalk with a bloody nose and you were mumling about how something was your fault. I took you here and you ended up crying 'til you passed out."

Evan looked at his lap, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "O-oh." He looked at the blanket, noticing a big spot of dried blood. "I'm sorry, I ruined the blanket."

"That things super old," Jared said. "Like older than us, so don't worry about it. Though you should probably go clean your face."

Evan stood up, grabbin onto Jared's shoulder to steady himself. He walked down the hall and into the bathroom.

He stared at himself in the mirror. Jared was right, he did look like shit. Dried blood covered the tip of his nose, cheeks, and chin. His hair was a mess. There was a small cut on his forehead.

He lightly touched it, wincing as pain shot through his body.

Turning on the sink, he searched for a hand towel. He wasn't able to find one so he settled with using tissues.

He scrubbed his face, being careful not to hurt the cut. He threw the tissues away and grabbed a toothbrush.

When he was younger, he would spend almost every weekend at Jared's house, so he ended up with his own toothbrush.

He left the bathroom and back to the living room. Jared was laying on the couch, on his phone. The blanket was crumbled into s ball and on the floor.

Jared glanced at Evan and sat up. "You wanna tell me what happened?"

Evan played with his fingers. "W-well Connor s-said that i-it was m-my fault our timers were b-broken b-because I fell out of-"

"Evan?" Jared furrowed his eyebrows, genuine concern on his face.

"I can't- I n-need to tell you something before I say what happened." Evan sat next to Jared. He tried to control his breathing. "I- my broken arm. . ."

"What about it?"

"I-I d-didn't fall. I mean I did, but I p-planned on letting go but the branch broke."

Jared stared at Evan. "You mean. . . Oh my god."

Tears streamed down Evan's cheeks as he let out sobs.

Jared was quiet, trying to process everything. Evan, one of his only friends, just admitted to trying to kill himself. And he constantly joked about it. Jared felt like he was going to throw up, he was disgusted at himself.

Jared pulled Evan close to him, wrapping him in a hug. "Please tell me you don't feel like that anymore," he pleaded.

Evan shookhis head, sobbing into Jared's shoulder. "N-not a-as much as b-before. It h-hasn't conpletely gone a-away, but I-I won't try again anytime soon."

"God I feel awful," Jared whispered. "I teased you so much about it. I made a fucking masturbation joke at the beginning of the year."

"Y-you didn't know. There's no way you c-could've know."

Evan pulled away, wiping his eyes. "S-so now that you know, I-I should t-tell you what happened."

"You should ignore him just like he ignored you," Jared said once Evan was done explaining. "He ignored you for three days, you ignore him for three days. Let him know how it feels."

"I d-don't think I c-can do that." Evan was staring at the ground.

"It's only fair. And just so you know, what happened with the timers is in no way your fault. There's no way you could've known what would happen."

Evan smiled. "Th-thanks."

 

Evan walked through the empty school hallway. He arrived late because he had an early appointment with Dr. Sherman.

He held his books to his chest as he jogged passed the lockers.

"Evan, wait!"

Evan skitted to a hault, looking over his shoulder. Connor was walking towards him.

"S-sorry, I really n-need to get to class," Evan said, speed-walking off. "M-maybe later."

 

Evan and Jared were playing a game of Garbage. Evan had won two rounds while Jared had won four.

Evan was in the middle of his turn when the doorbell rang. Jared stood up and answered it.

"Connor?"

Evan looked over at the door. Connor stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets.

"I really need to talk to Evan," he said.

"Well he doesn't want to talk to you." Jared closed the door. Connor stuck his foot out before it could shut.

"Please."

Jared sighed and opened the door, glaring at Connor as he shoved his way passed Jared.

"H-hey Connor," Evan said, standing up.

"Why have you ignoring me?" Connor asked. "Is it because of what happened last week? I kept trying to apologize but you just walked away or didn't answer my calls."

"J-Jared said that I sh-should ignore you l-like you ignored me," Evan whispered. "A-and it really hurt me, what you said. B-but it's true."

"What?" Connor stepped foreword. "No it's not, you had no control over what happened. I was just angry and probably high at the time, don't believe what I said. Can you forgive me?"

Evan nodded, looking at the floor. "It, it'll probably take a while but yeah, I can forgive you."

Connor faintly smiled and looked around the room. His eyes landed on the card game. "Oh is that Garbage?"

Evan nodded. "Y-yeah, we were in the middle of playing w-when you came by. Want us to deal you in?"

"Sure."

"So does this mean you're going to start dating now?" Jared asked.

"Very funny, Kleinman," Connor replied, rolling his eyes."

"Seriously, I'm curious!" Jared sat next to Evan. ". . . When's the wedding?"

"Jared!"

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up not using this scene in the main fic for two reasons. One, Connor seems extremely out of character during the first part to me. Two, no one ever writes about the couples who don't have soulmates and/or never find them, so I decided that I would and I just threw this scene to the side
> 
> Aso, I will be posting another one-shot series that has the rest of the deleted scenes. I just felt like it was appropriate to publish this as a seperate work


End file.
